After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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