All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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