dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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