is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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