He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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