the day after is always just damage control
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
