I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
