So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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