One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
