Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
organizing the empties. That sober.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
