I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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