you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
