Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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