i don't like sucking hair
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
two words: eviction party
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
