I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
