Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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