I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
