You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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