If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
