I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
