I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
