He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
