you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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