Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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