I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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