saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Randomize
