worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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