Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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