i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize