Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
