My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize