There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
