The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
