We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize