Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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