hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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