I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
