i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
