Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
