remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
