My nipple is on Facebook.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
