the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
