I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
