wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
