idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Randomize
