so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
