he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
