My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
