He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
