Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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