ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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