Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Randomize
