I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
