I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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