That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
