yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
