Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
did you just send me my own nude
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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