then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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